The end of an era. We have had our little cabin for 20 years and have enjoyed it to its fullest.  Many nights spent there having fun.  Also, so many nights of being drunk drunk.  Although it was fun it was also bad for me.  Upnorth and campfires signal drinks for me.  The good thing about our new place is that I have never had an alcoholic drink there.  Al of my time around the campfire so far has been due to burning all the things that can be burned from inside the house and inside the barn.  Believe me that is alot of stuff! I am very much looking forward to having a fire that I can sit around and just relax and enjoy a mocktail and not worry about waking up with a hang over and not enjoying the day to come.  This past weekend is the last weekend that we spent in the old place, it is now emptied out.  The next time we go up we will be spending the whole weekend in the new place.  I will be building new sober memories.  I am very much looking forward to that.  I am looking forward to waking up and taking in the beautiful view that is right outside our living room window and the dining room doorwall.

Today is day 25 for me.  I have been having alot of emotions the last week and I have cried so many tears over things that I normally would not cry over.  It is difficult to sit with these emotions when for years I have numbed out all my feelings with my wine.  There are still many times during the day that I want to have a glass of wine but I know that it is usually just a feeling rearing it's head and I need to work through that emotion and what is behind it and not go to the wine.  

In my meeting last night we were discussing fear.  Someone shared that they were afraid of rejection, afraid of people thinking they were crazy, just all sorts of fears related to self esteem.  Boy that hit me like a ton of bricks!  I have plenty of work to do in this area!