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 This staying sober thing is not easy.  I made it to 64 days and then fell off again.  I thought I could have a few drinks and be done with it.  Nope it doesn't work that way for me.  Once I have one, I give myself permission to have more and then more and then the next day more and then the next day.  It took 3 months of trying to get back on the no alcohol train and stay there.  I am now at day 17. I truly do not want to go back to drinking at all.  I know in my heart of hearts that it does nothing for me except bad stuff.  I can learn to handle life without numbing out.  I need to keep this sober momentum going.

I have many things that I want to accomplish still with my life and if I keep drinking, I am going to shorten that life with every drink.  Never mind the fact that I forget all the good moments.  I hate that I went to Mexico and drank while I was there.  I have no memory of the wonderful dinners that we had and that is just so sad.  I want to be fully present for all of life, good and bad.

I started going to AA meetings online and enjoyed them, so I decided to go to an in person one and really liked that also, so I am going to continue going.  I also just signed up today to run a marathon (yes, I will have to get in shape!) with my church to raise money to dig wells for the Pokot tribe in Kenya.  I am looking forward to this very much!  I am hoping it will keep me focused on where I want to head with my life!

Once I get myself further into my sobriety I would like to attend a retreat for sober women.  Maybe I can learn a bunch of stuff and have be able to one of my own for other women!  Wouldn't that be something! Dream big right??

Have a wonderful day and I will be checking in more often!


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