Well, I have made it to day 41 now!  Things have not been easy.  I have had alot of cravings lately, but I try to find other things to do to take my mind off of it. I have been working outside quite a bit which is something very different for me.  I am used to just sitting in the house scrolling on my phone or reading or watching tv.  I was looking at the place where I always sit and there is an actual indent when my ass normally is.  I am glad that I am getting outside more.  My body also feels it.  I need to add some actual exercise into my routine again so that I build up some endurance and strength.  I know I will be sore for a few days or weeks, but it will be better for me.

I am also having a lot of emotions and memories.  I have not thought about things that were bad in my life in so long, probably ever.  It just happened and then I put it back in that little box where I needed it to stay until I felt stronger.  It is amazing how much the brain can hide in it.

I am still feeling tired quite a bit but I am realizing that I am not taking very good care of my self.  Eating badly and not hydrating enough.  I think that is making me tired and crabby.  I am going to shop this weekend and get more fruits and veggies to snack on and put better nutrients into my body.  I also need to commit to drinking more water per day.  I will start small since I drink almost none now.  I will commit to 40 ounces a day and work my way up from there!  

I also am going back and forth between great sleep and bad sleep.  Sometimes I just can't shut my brain off.  It drives me crazy.  But when I have a good night it is amazing sleep. 

So my goals for the next few weeks are:

Eat healthier

Drink more water

Get some exercise 3x a week

I am also pulling together some ideas for doing a sober retreat!  More on that later!