I am so very disappointed in myself today.  I made it through so much and for 70 days.  Then I decided that I could moderate, that I had it all under control and I should be able to just have a glass of wine and then stop.  Well, that worked for a few days, but I always wanted more than that one glass.  Yesterday I proved to myself that I cannot do that.  I had a cosmo and then a dirty martini and then wine.  Lets just say that it did not end well.  I ended up saying things to my daughter that were not even remotely true.  I am sure I hurt her feelings.  I do not remember alot of the night and that is the thing that I hate the most and why I really wanted to quit.  That and the fact that I say things that are so ridiculous when I am drunk. I am starting back at day one and this time I am fully aware that it is not an option for me to even have one drink.

We leave for Mexico in 12 days, and I am not sure at all of how I am going to handle that trip without alcohol. I really need to do some thinking and planning on that before we go.