I did it!  I made it through the holidays without drinking.  It has been 51 days now!  There have been many days that were difficult.  I will write more in detail about the days that were had and what made me trigger into wanting to drink and what I did to stop the craving.  Unfortunately, sometimes that was just white knuckling it.

I am starting to feel better, and I do feel great in the mornings not worrying about what happened the night before and what I said or did.  I enjoy having all the memories! 

Getting through the holidays was a little hard.  I had to plan.  I was very used to drinking to excess on Christmas eve at my brother in laws.  It had been that way for years.  I had to make a plan to be able to stick to it.  I took a bottle of AF champagne with me and a few AF drinks.  Once I was there and drinking the AF mimosa, I was fine.  I actually enjoyed myself.  I was present and there for all the things.  Opening presents and having fun.  It was not awkward like I thought it would be.  I remember all of it and was able to go home and get in bed and relax.

Christmas morning was not really a challenge for me.  I did not normally drink in the morning on Christmas.  I made breakfast for everyone and enjoyed watching the kids' open presents.  We made a new tradition this year of going to Chinese for dinner.  None of us wanted to do the old tradition of having prime rib since Paul was the one that made the prime rib for us every year.  I had a mocktail that they had there, and it was good.  Everyone else had a drink but it did not bother me.  

So the Christmas holiday went pretty good.  I will write more later about New Years holiday.  I will also post about my first few weeks sober and what that was like.