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Well today is my 12th day of not drinking alcohol.  I have gone longer than this before (40 days) but I have always gone back.  I would not label myself an alcoholic but I do believe that I enjoy it a bit to much.  Also when I do drink it is never just one or two.  I usually finish that bottle of wine that I open.  That in iteself is not the issue either.  The issue is that no matter how much I drink it seems to wipe my memory out.  I hate that.  I also seem to say things that I really do not mean when I have been drinking wine.  It seems to be red wine that is a real issue.  For some reason it seems that red wine will cure all my problems.  Bad day,  long day, crazy day, had a fight with someone.....well lets have a class of wine (or a bottle) and that will take care of all the issues that you have.  That is what I am tired of.  I am tired of not dealing with all the things that life has dealt me.  I think it is time to stop the alcohol and feel all the feels that I have pushed aside for so many years.  I will use this blog to record all the feels and all the things I go through while trying to stop the hiding of feelings.

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