Transformation Year

  The end of an era. We have had our little cabin for 20 years and have enjoyed it to its fullest.  Many nights spent there having fun.  Also, so many nights of being drunk drunk.  Although it was fun it was also bad for me.  Upnorth and campfires signal drinks for me.  The good thing about our new place is that I have never had an alcoholic drink there.  Al of my time around the campfire so far has been due to burning all the things that can be burned from inside the house and inside the barn.  Believe me that is alot of stuff! I am very much looking forward to having a fire that I can sit around and just relax and enjoy a mocktail and not worry about waking up with a hang over and not enjoying the day to come.  This past weekend is the last weekend that we spent in the old place, it is now emptied out.  The next time we go up we will be spending the whole weekend in the new place.  I will be building new sober memories.  I am...

 This staying sober thing is not easy.  I made it to 64 days and then fell off again.  I thought I could have a few drinks and be done with it.  Nope it doesn't work that way for me.  Once I have one, I give myself permission to have more and then more and then the next day more and then the next day.  It took 3 months of trying to get back on the no alcohol train and stay there.  I am now at day 17. I truly do not want to go back to drinking at all.  I know in my heart of hearts that it does nothing for me except bad stuff.  I can learn to handle life without numbing out.  I need to keep this sober momentum going. I have many things that I want to accomplish still with my life and if I keep drinking, I am going to shorten that life with every drink.  Never mind the fact that I forget all the good moments.  I hate that I went to Mexico and drank while I was there.  I have no memory of the wonderful dinners that we had and ...