Transformation Year

 I am so very angry with myself this morning.  It is so difficult to quit drinking. I joined an online course that I am hoping will give me lots of tips and inspiration to be able to stop.  I guess going to a brewery for dinner was not the best choice.  I will need to adjust these things until I am able to go into a place and not have wine.  Yes some breweries have wine and this one did.  I am just going to focus on getting myself well.  I hate the mornings that I wake up and do not remember the night before.  I know I read some of my book but now I will have to go back and re read it because I have no idea what I read.  I have also started following quite a few people online that are now sober and they talk about how great life is now that they do not need to worry about if and when they are going to drink.  Moderation did not work for them so total sobriety is what worked for them.  I am thinking that is what is going to have to h...

  Well today is my 12th day of not drinking alcohol.  I have gone longer than this before (40 days) but I have always gone back.  I would not label myself an alcoholic but I do believe that I enjoy it a bit to much.  Also when I do drink it is never just one or two.  I usually finish that bottle of wine that I open.  That in iteself is not the issue either.  The issue is that no matter how much I drink it seems to wipe my memory out.  I hate that.  I also seem to say things that I really do not mean when I have been drinking wine.  It seems to be red wine that is a real issue.  For some reason it seems that red wine will cure all my problems.  Bad day,  long day, crazy day, had a fight with someone.....well lets have a class of wine (or a bottle) and that will take care of all the issues that you have.  That is what I am tired of.  I am tired of not dealing with all the things that life has dealt me.  I thin...